His Work

"All my scars led me to his heart, But he shouldn’t have let me fall apart."

By Anonymous

Seven years old, I was thriving.

Eight years old, already thinking about dying.

I continued living for my family’s sake --

every breath was for them.

Eleven years old, I looked in the mirror;

Finally, my path began to seem clearer.

I’ll never be good enough to help them.

Twelve years old, I couldn’t stand to look at food,

but not doing more would just be rude.

I’m doing this to be there for them.

Thirteen years old, I was looking around,

Then I realized there was no one to be found.

I’m not worthy of them.

I thought it was for them,

But there was no longer a “them.”

Finally, I had time to focus on me,

But “me” began to be all I could see.

The me I saw was not what I liked,

So there I was starving, on yet another night.

They had been gone for so many years.

I opened my eyes and was blinded by tears.

The alcohol was in her all this time,

I refused to admit she had the same blood as mine.

Drugs and alcohol flowed through their veins,

While I was alone, trying to skip through the days.

I grew up too fast,

always wearing a mask.

Abandoned so young, without a choice,

I begged for help but didn’t hear a voice.

My whole life ahead of me, and I was in charge,

but this task seemed way too large.

Blood dripped down my body to fill the void,

But the void couldn’t be filled

Because my life was destroyed.

All our lives shattered, in only an instant.

We wished Dad wasn’t so distant.

It wasn’t his fault: God took him for a reason,

But without him, we lost our cohesion.

Now fourteen years old, hungry and scarred,

I needed my dad, so I screamed to the stars.

He taught me how to love,

Then vanished to above.

How can I love when there’s no one around?

I tried to ask Dad but didn’t hear a sound.

This silence felt way too painful,

So then I knew: this was utter betrayal.

He promised to be there forever and always,

But those thoughts lead to an endless maze.

The silence was hard, but I was persistent.

A voice responded -- Maybe his assistant?

It wasn’t him, but it wasn’t me.

Oh, how ignorant could I be.

This can’t be God.

This must be fraud.

There’s no way someone like that could love me.

Because I, all alone, am just a nobody.

If God really loved me, I wouldn’t be scarred

Because God has the power to act as my guard.

This was suspicious, but I had no hope,

So I took the risk, and grabbed His rope.

He pulled me in hard, and gave me a hand.

I felt like I was in some make-believe land.

He offered His friendship, but I left in vain

Because no God of mine would leave me in pain.

I walked and walked, oh so far;

I was deserted like a lone star.

Alone at last, but I was distraught,

Fine, I’ll give this one more shot.

I yelled for Him, and He saw me there.

He ran to me, straight through the air.

He welcomed me with open arms;

All I had to do was turn off the alarms.

I was looking for my dad,

But found the Father.

The Father showed me to my dad,

So that’s why bother.

All my scars led me to his heart,

But he shouldn’t have let me fall apart.

He let me suffer and made me choose Him,

Though, if I didn’t choose Him,

I wouldn’t love Him,

Because if love is forced, and life is easy,

Then love’s not real, and not would it should be.

Age sixteen, no longer alone,

But life’s not perfect --

I didn’t find a safe zone.

I try to spread love; that’s just what I do.

Dad, I can do this, thanks to you.

Now age eighteen, it’s beginning to make sense.

Lord, I write this in your defense.

I’m not who I was before,

Nor do I fear anymore.

I don’t live for them, or live for me;

I try to live for you: that’s the key.

Bound by your faithfulness,

I now stand in confidence;

So, thank you, Lord, for showing me your heart,

While the rest of the world tried to tear me apart.