Recognizing Joy

By Anonymous

Art by Rafael DeLaVille '20

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Recognizing the joy within yourself is vital to finding peace. As you may or may not have heard before, there is a distinct line between joy and happiness, although, with a quick Google search, the line between the two appears to be far more sheer.

Regardless of your thoughts on Christianity, or religion whatsoever, exploring how Christians use the term “joy” is very eye-opening. Here’s why: The Bible is the most prevalent source for the English language, influencing its vocabulary, slang terms, idioms, and how English speakers interpret one another.* Pastor Rick Warren defines joy as “the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.”** Christian joy does not rely on happiness, a temporary feeling, but on intentionally choosing a path with a steadfast sense of comfort.

After suffering from depression for nearly a decade, trying various psychiatric medicines, and all the classics -- working out more, focusing on sleep, meditating, journaling -- I was sure I would never find happiness. I was right, sort of. No one will ever find happiness because it is not a location; you cannot travel there by any means. Happiness, of course, is a feeling, which is a psychological reaction to a given circumstance. I struggle with depression because my brain responds to circumstances with a release of dopamine far less than the average person. But why? Yes, I had a difficult childhood, with an unfortunate amount of hardships that each presented its own set of repercussions within my brain, but I’ll let you in on a secret: overanalyzing may be necessary for the Engineering or Medicinal fields, but excessive self-analyzation tends to be extremely inefficient. Although growing from your experiences is important, it cannot be your priority.

Changing my mindset, cheesy, I know, was the most life-changing thing I’ve ever done. Like I said, prior to changing my mindset, I fully believed that I would be miserable forever. At that time, I saw two choices and two choices only: continue to live in misery or commit suicide. Clearly, I did not commit suicide; I chose to continue to live in misery, for reasons irrelevant here. As I continued along my path, I slowly began to stop overanalyzing my every move and past experiences because I simply did not care anymore -- I was trying to accept that I would never be like the happy people. Consequently, my self-hatred grew stronger every day. I don’t know why -- maybe because all my focus was on hating myself -- but I slowly began to find joy in random little things that I either despised in the past or never really thought about:

I suck, and I don’t really want to talk to anyone today, but wow, the trees are jaw- dropping.

I don’t want to be at school, and I don’t even care about learning, but my Biology homework was just embarrassingly fascinating.

Wait, most people bother to smile when you walk by them.

I am insanely lucky to be sleeping in a bed tonight.

Admittedly, it took me a long time to connect the dots between my recent progress towards finding peace with my existence and my sudden overwhelmingly appreciative outlook on my surroundings. Once I realized what was going on, my thoughts slowly began to unravel into something that made sense for once: I never should’ve been asking why I was the way I was; I should’ve been wondering how people successfully complete their days without longing for death. In an attempt to attain the unattainable, happiness, I forgot what it was like to be content. I needed to find peace.

At that point, I had to take action, but you should know that I was still extremely unmotivated and didn’t want to. I forced myself to point out things I was grateful for, and recognize the joy within myself that accompanies each of my blessings. This became a little game I would play in my head all the time, which transformed from a self-inflicted demand, to give myself enough willpower to continue living, into a 180-degree turning point in my life. On my worst days, I noticed myself neglecting to recognize my inner joy. On my best days, I found myself naturally smiling, often coming to tears from an overwhelming sense of appreciation, and heading towards tolerating my self-being. On my uneventful days, I was at peace.

As Pastor Rick Warren explained, joy does not rely on happiness, a temporary feeling, but on intentionally choosing a path with a steadfast sense of comfort. To find peace, one must actively choose to acknowledge the little blessings in his or her life and embrace the joy that accompanies each one.

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*Information on the Bible’s impact on the English language:

T., Mahabat. “Course Paper ‘ the Etimology of Biblical Idioms.’” Academia.edu - Share Research, Academia.edu, Sep. 2008- Dec. 2019, www.academia.edu/29519227/Course_paper_the_etimology_of_Biblical_idioms_?email_work_card=interaction_paper.

**short article about “joy” in the Christian faith:

Lee, Pearlene, et al. “How Do You Define Joy?” Bill High, 17 Dec. 2019,

billhigh.com/faith/how-do-you-define-joy/.