Delightful and Detrimental Ambition

By Noah Yanowitch '22

"Desire" Photographed by Anna Lerner '20

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In many pivotal aspects of my life, ambition has been the principal force in inspiring me to create goals or standards that I feel compelled to achieve. Ambition has pushed me towards big accomplishments. However, with ambition comes consequences, both in physical injury and mental health.

Athletically, ambition has pushed me to succeed, which has given me happiness and fulfillment; however it develops high expectations that promote ignoring pain in order to reach aspirations, ultimately causing detrimental injury. Throughout my hockey career, I have spent hours training to get an extra step on a defender or extra power on my shot. The worst injury I have suffered through hockey developed from harmful ambition. The game was a must-win against the Predators, a local team, to secure a playoff spot. The stakes were high and I was ready to give everything for the team. In the second period, I skated full speed into the corner to chase the puck, then I skated in the direction of the oncoming defensemen, collected the puck, and attempted to skate towards the net to unleash a high shot over the goalie's glove. As I skated across the hash marks, I saw two defenders for the Predators coming at me full speed. While I masterfully slipped by the first one, but then I saw the other Predator defender lunging at me, about to lay a ferocious hit. I could not move away in time and, a moment later, I lay flat on the ice. Looking back at the play two years later, I made a number of mistakes due to dangerous ambition. I should have gone on the bench to rest like the rest of my teammates on the ice, but my hunger to score ignored my fatigue and discomfort. On the ice after the hit, I knew I had a concussion. However, I ignored the voices telling me to go off the ice and go through concussion protocol because of my desire to score. I continued to play through my concussion exhausted and dazed, and the prioritization of achievement over health and safety lengthened my recovery for an estimated two months.

Ambition changed my perspective on academics, making school a competitive environment. I have always looked for the next step academically, first to a private high school with a reputation for high academic standards, with college to follow and, in the future, to graduate school. From a young age, my father taught me to be the best in all subjects and to outwork my peers. Being an eight-year-old public elementary school student, I did not want to spend time doing “extra work” because I was completely fine doing the prescribed work with ease. In third grade, I changed schools to Norwood, a much more difficult private school. I was challenged daily by my teachers and I consistently got low test scores and fell behind my classmates. At that point, I worked with my teachers outside of classes, attempting to acclimate to private school academics. I distinctly remember my first meeting with my math teacher, Mrs. Senadhira, who changed my outlook on school. I deliberately walked slowly from the chorus room into Mrs. Senadhira’s classroom after school, hoping for a fire alarm, or snow to miraculously fall from the sky, dreading to discuss my horrible long division quiz. I saw Mrs. Senadhira look up from her computer as she gave me a big smile.

Mrs. Senadhira said in her strong Sri Lankan accent, “Hello Noah, so the long division did not go so well, did it?”

I responded in sorrow, “No, not really”

I worked with her for the next hour, struggling through long division while feeling hopeless and almost embarrassed that my friends did not also need one-on-one time with the teacher.

As I was putting my notebook in my backpack, Mrs. Senadhira told me in an encouraging tone, “remember, practice makes permanent, not perfect. Students all across the world work much harder than all of the students at Norwood.”

This thought struck me. I began to feel guilty for all of the times I finished an assignment that was “good enough.” I questioned my complacency. I wanted to practice long division and make it permanent. This fire of ambition impacted all of my other subjects. I began to care,

and my grades improved for the first time.

"I began to feel guilty for all of the times I finished an assignment that was 'good enough'. I questioned my complacency"

My personal ambition has been shaped in these character-defining moments. I’ve learned that ambition is an aspect of human nature that plays a fundamental role in manifesting desire and a passion to accomplish your goals that is all about distinguishing ourselves from others in a way that is self-motivated and cultivated. Today, the fire of ambition still burns in me, and Potomac has only added more fuel, but I am also more cognizant of potential harm ambition can cause and, hopefully, how to keep it under control and not go the way of Macbeth.